Bloggie Has Moved!!
Due to the many restrictions of friendster blogs, i've moved my bloggie : http://www.xanga.com/A_mAn_DuhH_Panda
Come come come!! : )
Due to the many restrictions of friendster blogs, i've moved my bloggie : http://www.xanga.com/A_mAn_DuhH_Panda
Come come come!! : )
Someone recently commented that I wear lots of low-cut-v-necked tops, the lower the better.. if it wasn't for the fact that i've known her for quite some time, and that she's always been a good natured person, i would have brought back my oh-so-famous sharp tongue that i've kept tucked away for quite some time. This did, however, brought back memories of the MANY ignorant,judgemental, completely close minded people i have met in the past who had managed to bully me into being ashamed for exercising my very basic right of wearing whatever i like..
Ashamed no more I am...
For god's sake, firstly..it's MY body. What's it to you if my neckline is a quarter of an inch lower than what you presume it's supposed to be? You have every right to live your life in the bottom of a well, but if i don't follow suit, even if you think it's wrong not to, what's it to you? Why do you CARE so much? (in other words, get a life)
Secondly, yess.. i do have many tops which are low. But why why whyyyyyy do you assume that it's because i wanna attract wolf whistles and the attention of perverts? Could it be so utterly impossible that I pick my clothes because i like the way they look on me, and i'm comfy in them? Must I, as a female living in the 21st century, do everything just to please guys? Don't flatter yourselves.
Thirdly, this has NOTHING to do with what i think of my body. I have nothing against people commenting about how others look, because i do that all the time with my girlfriends (we looooove checking pretty girls out, it's fuuunnn : ) ), but just because, from the way i dress, you THINK i have a high opinion of myself, doesn't mean you have the right to diss me TO MY FACE. I believe in free speech, but not rude, hurtful behaviour that stems from shaky assumptions. Looks like some people missed Thinking Skills 101..
Thankfully I don't meet many sakais like the abovementioned these days. A sharp tongue i might have, but don't blame me for putting you in your place when you've wronged me.
Mmmmmmmmm...mmmmmmmmmmmmmm
I'm totally satisfied. right here, right now..
lalala
Last year, last year I had an excuse. "That family holiday to Langkawi on the same weekend.. It's family..i had no choice.. too bad too bad, next year..."
This year... I would have thought it meant more to me. I would have thought that i'd relish the thought of revisiting the place, the people, the organisation that i once cared so much for, that i once put so much effort into, that in return taught me so much, and gave me so many tresured memories.. So why on earth did i throw it away? why did i not go back, and instead went for physics tuition, something i could have easily rescheduled?
I don't know. I really don't. Somehow, I just didn't feel like it. Fine, fine, that's a valid enough argument, i tell myself. And then.. I dream..In those horrid dreams, I went back, saw how great everything and everyone was, and, instead of being happy and proud like a mother would be at her kid's graduation, i felt sick, and end up waking up in cold sweat.
Maybe i'm just plain mean. Maybe i'm just such an egomaniac that i can't stand the thought of it doing well without me, considering that it didn't do so well with me at the helm. Or maybe i really do miss high school life, seeing that "IT" was such a big part of it, and going back and meeting everyone again would only serve as a reminder of how much i miss it.
In between cycles of dieting and binge eating, of not studying and feeling guilty about it, of feeling on top of the world one day and being insecure about my command of one of the most basic, important language on earth (English) the next, i wanna go back, or move forward.. Anything but to be stuck here.
Oh the results came out today. This is the first exam in quite awhile that i've put so much effort into... For once, i didn't stay up mugging all night just so that i can finish the syllabus, risking caffeine overdose in the process, only to go to college looking half-dead with my head feeling like it weighs a tone, simply because this time, i've already read and re-read everything beforehand.. Not because i force myself to, but because i really want to... i went into the exam hall refreshed, wide-awake, confident. Annnnnnnnnnnd.... The results are the baaaad... the worst i have ever gotten in a major A-level exam...
Why am i so bothered, some might ask. Logically..as long as i've put in effort, given it my all.. i should be satisfied.But i cant be. For I've always believed that anyone can achieve their goals, as long as they've worked hard and smart (looks like that chinese education has done me some good, after all). Maybe I didnt work hard enough. or smart enough.still.. when one puts in effort one expects results, no? when one doesn't get results one should simply slave away more, no?
But what if it's not enough? What if it takes talent, intelligence, skill? What if some people are born with all that, and some, no matter how much they work at it, should simply have just given up in the first place and find their niche somewhere else? and what if i'm one of the latter? I don't really think i have any other skills (losing weight doesn't count..Neither does picking fights with mommy..or going gaga over sweets).. other interests, yes.. but none that i'm passionate enough about to be turned into a career
So for now.. i guess i've just gotta do it the old fashioned way--- work focus work (hopefully...) and pray that Confucious and all those military-style-chinese-primary-school-teachers that i'm often so sarcastic and ungrateful about are right after all..
So... Decided to make be a good girl and make spaghetti today... hehe.. it was.. haphazard.. here's the original recipe tat i was supposed to follow:
CHOP the onion, celery, carrot and parsley finely.
IN a frying pan on medium heat, heat up the two tablespoons of olive oil, add the chopped ingredients and allow them to soften.
ADD the meat, mix everything together and cook over a gentle flame until the meat has changed colour. Add the tomato conserva or ripe, diced tomatoes. Less tomato lets the meat flavor come through strongly; more tomato gives a more 'blended taste'
SIMMER gently for half an hour and season to taste with salt and black pepper.
Here's what i did:
-realised i didn't have parsley AND celery..decided to forgo the greens.. they smell bad anyway..
-put in chopped onions, carrots and garlic, because my maid had them nicely prepared...
-fried them all.. until i could smell a bit of burned onions, then set aside, and added the minced pork, plus a bit more olive oil..(onions are oil-suckers..*shudders*), then ham..
-stir stir stir, until hand ached a bit, then added in the tomatoe puree..and the mushrooms..
-more vigorous stirring.. It looked kinda gooey, so i put in a bit of cream, because i happened to have that in the fridge
-noticed that some of the cream had started to congeal together..like whipped cream.. it said "whipping cream" on the box anyway... decided to ignore, stir stir stir...
-let the sauce simmer for awhile.. it still looked too thick, and the recipe clearly said NO WATER..so i had to rummage the fridge for tomatoes (turns out we only had ONE left..) chopped it up into little pieces, and added it into the sauce, which had started to smell of burned cream...which was kinda appetising..
ANNNNDDD
VOILA!!!
It's supposed to look like this:
maybe i'll add some water before we eat... still looks thick...
I'm so gonna be a great chef someday : )
"I wish you hadn't gotten in"
I accept that you think it's perfectly decent to read my sms's, emails, letters, even greeting cards
I accept that you and I never do normal girly "mother-and-daughter" things like shopping and having long lunches together
I accept that you openly discuss my so-called "phobia-for-food" with the relatives and have them look at me like i'm some unstable-anorexic-emotional-wreck
I accept that you don't love me as much as you do the other two
But this I cannot accept.
Regardless of your views, how can you wish that a university, the same university that i have dreamt of getting into since forever, reject my application? How can you wish to see me broken and down, feeling like i'll never measure up?
I know you have your reasons. I know some of them are pretty valid. But this is not your decision to make. You can guide. You can advise. But you cannot threaten me and say stuff like "you'd better decide favourably" or (my all-time favourite) "if you wanna get into LSE so much, then you'll just do the 3 year external-program locally".
I'm 19, for god's sakes, not 9. Just because you think i'm naive and immature doesn't mean YOU call the shots. Especially when you tell me "LSE is not good for Accounting and Finance, only for Econs and Politics, hence the name". The very fact that you would say things like that and expect me to just accept it shows how low you think of me.The ironic thing is, had you not been so forceful on this issue, I might consider the other unis. The second next-best alternative is not bad at all, i must admit.
But no. This is not your decision to make. It's mine. Someone recently commented that i'm purposely being so headstrong just so i can spite you, and maybe he's right. I know you're doing all this because you care, but by being like this you're suffocating me. Please.. let me be.
I've no mood to do anything else today, so just thought of doing some updates--
-It's one and a half weeks to my trials but i can't study because i just binge-ate AGAIN this morning, and i can't quite breath properly now.
-I have the urge to spend all my ang-pow money on my hair now, just to make up for my guilt over the whole eating-too-much-and-not-studying thing.
-I'm thinking about running out to get some-more ice-cream.. plus fries and a burger.. and cheesecake, since Mcds, Baskin Robbins and Secret Recipe are just behind my house.
-I'm obsessed with drinking water.
-I don't feel comfortable eating anything unless i know it's exact nutritional information.
-Daddy has just gone out to pick ko from the airport, I'm anxious to see what he looks like now..plus to try out the goodies he'll be bringing back
-I've gotta run now, to carry out my "responsibilities" as a big sis
Went down to our sterile neighbour over the causeway for CNY, so of course i fed my food obsession with some candy shopping.. After squatting at the candy aisle of a local supermarket there for a reeeeally really long time (people were giving me weird looks)..i've managed to find these treasures:
Peanut Butter M&Ms
These are just your normal M&Ms, but filled with peanut butter. The filling is a bit too watery for my liking though (like caremel syrup). I was expecting something that's like the peanut butter spreads we buy in jars. That notwithstanding, it was not bad at all.. but then again, chocolate with anything is not bad..
i'm too lazy to review the rest now, will jus post some mostly- home-made-pics (my candies are blardy cam-whores) and come back soon..
This whole blogging thing has been boring me for quite some time really, until i stumbled upon this really cool blog on --- CANDIES.. Too lazy to post the link, but if you google "candy blog" it should appear.. Anyway i got inspired and decided to dedicate this entire blog to food. of course i cant profess to be anywhere as good as candy blog, but i'll try anyway..
I'm gonna do a review on this salmon sandwich that i recently tried at Ms Read's Delicious, because i have it's pic..
When it first came i was quite taken aback, as it looked nothing like a sandwich.. There's actually a slice of whole-grain bread beneath all that salmon, but still--- a sandwich is only called a sandwich because there's stuff SANDWICHED between two or more slices of bread.. we can't really giap anything with only a slice of bread, can we? anyway.. moving on moving on
They're really generous with the layers and layers of salmon (i think it's smoked), and the blandness of salmon is well balanced by the sour bursts of flavour of the little green pea-like balls of pickled olives. The bread is surprisingly "padat".. Like there aren't any holes in it, just flour, flour, and more flour. It provides quite a nice difference in texture from the slinkiness of the salmon.. so yeah.. all together each mouthful of salmon, olive, cucumber and "padat" bread was simply heavenly. And it feels really healthy too..Like it isn't so laden with MSG and salt that we have to gulp down cups and cups of water. The flavours were not entirely acquired from the seasonings and spices, instead the natural taste and texture of the food really complemented whatever seemingly minimal seasonings they put in the "sandwich".
The little cup of Garden Salad on the right of the plate was another pleasant surprise. Even though it looks all fresh and healthy (read: tasteless), the dressing is it's saving grace. Unlike the usual heavy, creamy thousand island sauce, this dressing was slightly watery and lightly sweetened, which really went well with the juicy greens.
AT about RM16-ish (can't remember, it was quite some time ago), it's slightly pricey, and it might not be a hearty, filling meal, more like a snack perhaps. It left me pleasantly full without feeling like i'm 20-months pregnant though, so i was quite satisfied at the end of the meal.
Rating: 7/10
Disclaimer : As i tried this dish sometime late last month, some finer details might not be accurate. Will hopefully try to be more up-to-date and less vague next time.
